At what age should a woman get married? Is it right out out college? Before 30? This question has to be the bane of my existence. Since college all I hear from friends, family, colleagues, random grocery store clerks and even coworkers is when am I going to get married. It’s a question that is damn near annoying and invasive. In case these people didn’t now, I am not God. I cannot see into the future nor have I ever been good at placing bets. So the little five word question that they feel necessary to muster from their lips should stay within the confines of their brain.
I realize that I sound pretty angry but I have every right to feel this way. Let me explain. I can count on both hands and feet how many high and college classmates who are either engaged, married, or married with a kid (including puppies). Double that number and that’s how many times I’ve been asked about my marital future. That’s 39 times too many in my opinion. The insane part of all of this is that I am not even in a relationship. I’m just as fresh as a hot pan of country cornbread. I haven’t had a boyfriend in the past four years. That number may seem pretty high to some people, but I take who I commit myself to very seriously. So I just don’t call every guy I talk to my boyfriend after a week of texting and emoticons. I prefer to take my time and really get to know the person I am considering to be my life partner.Life partner? NappyNikki you were just talking about dating, how did you get to life partner? Well, in my opinion the whole dating game is about finding that one true partner. Whether people want to admit it or not that’s everyone’s goal.
I am 24 years old, I’ve had 1 serious boyfriend and maybe dated, a term I use very loosely, 3 guys. And now everyone I know assumes that is is time for me to settle down, get married and start making mini me’s. Just the other day a few coworkers asked me if I ever thought about it and if I hadn’t I need to soon. I’m only 24 years old! Just shy of my quarter life crisis’ mark. What’s the rush? Why do I need to do it right now? Is the Messiah coming? Is there a shortage of men? If so, will those same people start encouraging me to marry a woman? (Not that I am against it.) All I’m saying is that if you are going to advise someone to do something, you better give them a good reason why. And even them I’m not going to move at the pace you want me to.
Now, by no means am I against marriage. I very well would love to enjoy and experience that agape love. I want a family and just recently realized that I want children. I want everything that people question me about on a daily basis and more. However, I don’t want it to be forced. I don’t want to feel like I have to marry someone just because we have dated for more than 5 years. Or have a baby because my biological clock is ticking and I definitely don’t want to feel as if I have to marry someone just because they got me pregnant. This is not a movie where I had a one night stand with some random guy from a bar, he got be pregnant and now we have to force a relationship that probably never would have happen it if weren’t for six shots of tequila and outraged hormones. This is my life and I take it very seriously.
So to all those lovely souls who wish me a never ending magical Disney fairy tale filled with lots of kids, baked goods and and endless supply of sappy moments. Pump your breaks! Let there be a boyfriend before you start picking out wedding dresses and nursery colors.